Don't tell me what to wear!

My body belongs to me.  Why?  Cause it’s my freakin body!  It’s a simple as that, and if you still cant comprehend this primordial fact, here let me spell it out to you “my body = M-I-N-E”! 

My rage stems from not being able to dress the way I want to. People saying “oh that’s too short.” “oh that’s too sexy!” . To hell with that shit, I’ll wear it anyway! Why? Cause I like it. 

 I should be able to do whatever I want with my body. I’ll cover it up in Egyptian cotton from head to toe if I feel like it! I’ll put on a short mauderers map skater dress (for the muggles that dont know what that is, its a Harry Potter themed dress) if I want too. I’ll get tattoos if find one that I like. I’ll dye my hair blue just for the heck of it. Or just leave it jet black as it is if I please.  

The point is, one’s body belongs to oneself and no one else. I don’t think its right for others to tell you how to dress or stop you from doing certain things just cause they don’t particularly agree with it. Saw a mini skirt that you like? Buy it. Wear it! Feel good in it! 

You see, I think we express our personality through the way we dress and I do not wish to hide my personality just because someone else doesn't see eye to eye with it.  

It’s the 21st century, don’t tell me we don’t have the freedom to dress the way we want to!

wanderlust.

I don't get inspired everyday, but when I do, it's usually 430 In the morning. Annnnd blogger ends up selling to Google and now I can't sign into my blogspot account. What a buzz kill. After half an hour of confusion with usernames, Google accounts and passwords, I now have decided to screw this shit and type in my phone instead. So if anyone else is able to read this, it means I've figured out how to get access to my blog once again. Hee.


So what was it that made me wake up in the middle of the night to blog about? Oh yeah, my lust for adventure. As always, i fall asleep as I imagine myself having adventures in such epic proportions that usually don't make any sense in reality.

Some days it's just pure nonsense like eloping with a mysterious Casanova that I'd meet in foreign lands, while other days i don't imagine, I just end up over analyzing things. Thinking about how mundane life can be at times. But today it's about wanderlust. The strong urge in me to explore the world and see every corner of it. After my winter vacation in Amsterdam and Belgium, I feel like I've had enough of the city (for now), but my thirst for seeing the world was not quenched. Only thing different now is that I want to see nature. I don't want to see monuments, canals, bright lights and palaces. I want to see the beauty of Mother Nature. I want to sun bath by the sandy beaches, snorkel in the crystal clear sea water. Go island hopping. Jungle tracking. Take a walk under the moonlight. Drink hot chocolate by the mountain top and watch the stars burn out. Lay under the night sky and wonder about what's out there. I want to go canoeing in a creek, with geese swimming by, and only accompanied by the sound of the water splashing, and birds chirping.

I want to swing on a vine. I want to stay in a wooden house surrounded by trees. Ride a bike under the sun and eat ice cream for lunch. I want to watch the northern lights. And wake up at the back of a van to a beautiful sun rise. And of course, most of these things are best done in Malaysia. Cause after all, Malaysia truly Asia right? Lol. Hopefully I can tick of some of these things of my list this summer.



Ps: It has been 357 days since I wrote this, yes that's how long it took me get access to my blog once again!

Happy Mother's Day!

Hi there, mommy dearest! This one's for you.

"You may be treated like the maid,

You may be treated like the gardener,

You may be treated like the daycare,

You may be treated like the chauffer,

You may be treated like many things.

But one thing is for sure,

You will always be loved.

For a fathers work may be from sun up till sundown,

But a mothers work is never down.

And all that I have, am, and hope to be, I owe to you,

And I just wanted to say THANK YOU!"

You are a supermom!

hahaha

keep smilling! :D

I didnt have a picture of you and I in my phone, so here's one of you and baby girl! 

And of course I did not forget the other supermom of mine, RADHA AMMA! You're both the same to me. Radha ma, thank you for raising me up as a kid, for "manja-ing" me even when I'm all grown up, and most of all thank you for your love! You've always treated me and Gautham as one of your own, and I'm so greatful for that. You and Devi ma are the best sisters and mothers I know. I'm so blessed to have not just one, but two awesome sauce mothers in my life! Love you both so much!

And lastly, too ALL mother's out there:

If you dont have anything nice to say, SHUT YOUR BLOODY PIE HOLE!

It seems to me that many people nowadays have forgotten the meaning of the phrase “if you don't have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. It feels like I’m constantly surrounded by blithering idiots who just don’t know what to say and what not to. Here’s the thing, I am SO sick of people and their snide remarks on my weight or the way I look in general. I get it that I’m skinny, and I’ve been this way my whole damn life, so why is it so big of a deal to you, that you just can’t help it but to tell me “Omg, you’re so skinny!” every single time you see me. DON’T YOU THINK I ALREADY KNOW THAT?! I have a mirror in my house,  I know how I look like, I know I lack some subcutaneous fats. I don’t need you to remind me every time you see me. I would totally understand if we met each other like after a year or something and you say that I look skinny, I totally get it. But that’s not it, we meet each other like every other day, and each time you see me, instead of a simple “Hello, how’s your day?”,  you talk about my weight. Is your brain really so God damn retarded that you can’t even start a conversation decently? Do you seriously think I’d be interested in talking to you after you use my anorexic like appearance as a conversation starter? Think again. I’m just gonna give you a bleak smile and walk away. Although in my head I just stabbed you with a fork 38 times, for being so condescending! Have you ever stopped for a second and thought about how YOU look? The last time I checked, YOU’RE NOT A SHOWSTOPPER EITHER! Yet you don’t see me telling you how effing obese you look, or how messed up your face is for example. Because I for one, have the decency to not comment on your flaws! Some of you might say that you say these things because you care, but let’s be real, you expect me to think that you’re saying all that because you care?  If you really cared so much, do something about it! Like why not buy me lunch or cook me dinner every day? Because unless you do that, YOU DONT BLOODY GET A SAY ON HOW I LOOK! You can shut the hell up and go dig yourself a hole to die in, because the next person who says something about my weight is going to end up in a coffin! It’s not nice to keep commenting on someone’s looks, unless if it was a compliment. But if you really must say, then it’s probably time you learn about constructive criticism. So remember, the next time you talk to someone (not just me), if you don’t have anything nice to say, SHUT YOUR BLOODY PIE HOLE! 

Nail art competition.

Nail art competition! There there, before you think this is my work of art, let me tell you, IT'S NOT. :) Submitting this on behalf of my friend Maha Kulasimgham (because she doesn't have a blog) for the Lydia's Nails: spring themed nail art contest.  With that said, I hope she wins. :D 

But I don't wanna choose! I wanna do it all!

Grieving over my current life circumstances. Wasn't it bad enough already that I have to put up with my petty issues of everyday life, and now I have to choose between two of my dreams?? Seriously, I don't need more things to mess with my head, I think I already have enough insecurities and worries to keep me up awake at night. Why? Why do I have to choose between meeting the boy who was all I ever thought about since I was sixteen and my dreams of travelling and having adventures with some particular people? Why finally give me the opportunity to make my dreams come true but in such a way that I have to pick only one. Why does it have to happen at the same time. If it weren't for the time, I would be able to do both. But no, we cant have it all can we? So here I am, sitting here in my room, barely able to enjoy a good episode of Big Bang Theory, because I'm in a dilemma. Do i use my money to go see the Jonas Brothers Live in Russia (probably my once in a life time chance to meet the brothers) which is just for one night only or do I live on my other dream of travelling to Europe and having adventures. Both means so much to me.

I. Can't. Decide. :/

I love you and you know it! :)

Lets take a little stroll down memory lane, shall we? 

*flashback starts* It was on the 3rd of March 2011 where it all started. Here's a fragment of my very first blogpost that will tell you how it all started : 

"...my attempt to make Sardine went down the drain cause it tasted like crap. Thanks to me. The Padfak master chef!! :(  But just my luck, I coincidentally ran into the god-sent Dashvinder, my fellow Perimbun High School senior, who helped me out with the sardine. And it only got better! Because, Dash (surprised that I can’t cook) offered to make me pork for dinner. (unrelated details have been edited out to make the flashback short) .......While he made the dish, I was hanging around the common kitchen and I met Kamini akka (for the first time)  ...."

There you were in a black tank top and striped shorts, going to make fries. Dashy introduced us and my first impression on you, "aww she's so nice and friendly. And so pretty!" Little did I know at the moment that this woman would become such a big part of my life.

Time passed and we never really saw it happen, but we just became SO close. I spent more time in your room rather than my own. Every time I come back from uni, I go right to your room first, the room which you never lock! If I don't return from my room for more than 2 hours (usually cause I'm dead asleep) you'd think I died or something and come check up on me. haha. We pretty much did everything together didnt we? Gosh, so many memories created. I cherish every bit of it. All the laughs, the silly jokes, the screaming around padfak, the singing nights with papa and Adrian, cooking together, the sleepovers, movie nights with Mangala akka and Yuga akka (btw, they miss you too), dressing up for some nights, manicure, the tears, the drama and everything. The good, the bad and the ugly, we have been through it all I guess! And  I still remember the times when we go out together, people used to ask if we were sisters. Well, we may not be from the same womb, but woman, you most definitely are my sister!

Well, you are not just a best friend or a sister, but your were also my mother over here. You always help me out and talk some sense into my head, protect me from drama, and you spoil me so much. hee. I love it when you spoil me. :) It always made me feel safe that there was someone here who genuinely cares about me and loves me. Anything could go wrong and I would be like "well I have my Kamini akka" and things wont bother me as much. You made life away from home so much more easier.

We only had one semester together and time was flying away, as we counted the days to return back to Malaysia, i was excited, but at the same time, i was kinda upset that it was a day closer to you never coming back to Kursk. Nowadays we dont really talk on a daily basis but trust me, nothings changed between us. Cause distance can't drive besties apart! 

Then summer came along and we had even more fun together. I remember we used to text each other everyday, it was simply a must. Then I finally came over to your house to stay for a night and ended up staying there for almost a week! It was seriously the best time ever! Even went to your aunt's place, and also to your granny's place in Ipoh. I was accepted as a part of your family, and I'm so blessed for that. Your parents and Niva, they made me feel so at home. And I was simply overwhelmed when uncle and aunty referred to me as their third daughter. And you guys even trusted me with your entire house. Oh damn, I cant wait to come back for summer holidays and stay over again. Niva, you and I shall story each other till late night. You better make time for me k? 

Summer ended and it was time for me to go back to Russia, sadly you couldn't make it to the airport, you were working, so its okay. Although you trained me to be independent for when you are no longer in Kursk,  life without you was so different. It took time to get used to it. Whenever I miss you, or if I just want to have a good laugh, I watch back all the videos of us and see all the pics. One of my fav videos, is the one you were talking to the cats in padfak, you are hilarious I tell you! I'm so glad i took lots of pictures and videos that time, to a point where there were more pics of you rather than myself in my phone. haha.  Btw, remember, I'm still waiting to collect the teddy bear you got me as my send off present.. :) I'm counting to the days till we can meet again! I believe we owe each other so many stories! :D 

Okay if i chose to write about all the memories we shared together, I'd have to write a novel instead. So let me cut this short okay? Well woman,you are amazing person and I've learnt a lot from you. You made me a better person. You are one of my besties, like Hema and Vanessa. Once I'm done with med school, I'll come running to which ever hospital you're at! You promised to manja me remember? hee. I love you more than a fat kid loves candy.
 

Love you from here to infinity for eternity. 

(I like it when you purposely pretend to get this phrase wrong to get my attention. haha)

With that said, HAPPY BIRTHDAY WOMAN! 

Much love,
Pavi.